This is the first in a weekly series in which each week I will 
tell you about actual studies the government has funded with your tax dollars. The point is not to argue against funding science, but to point out we can do a better job of doling out the money so it actually goes to science.
If you grew up in one of the 83 million households that own a dog you may have caught yourself occasionally wondering, does mommy love me or the dog more? As a child, it's possible the answer to this question may have worried you, but as an adult, you realize how obvious the answer is. Think about: your mother had to go through the pains of childbirth to acquire you, while the dog she got to choose at a pet store or shelter. You cost your mom around $13,000 a year while the dog costs about $1,000 in the first year and then $500 in subsequent years. The dog quickly learns to take commands, while your first word was probably "no" or "dad."
In all seriousness, I'm sure you have your mother's favor. However, the federal government wants to be 100 percent sure she does love you more, because if not obviously this could have tremendous implications for our health future.
That's why the feds paid two scientists a combined $371,000 in 2014 from the NIH budget to find out that in fact mom loves the dogs as much as you. MRIs revealed that moms elicited similar brain activity when viewing pictures of their dogs as when they were viewing pictures of their own children. The fact that the pictures elicited equal responses suggests that maybe kids should spend more time fighting with the dog for mommy's affection.
Or maybe it means mom hates you both equally...
This study was pulled from former Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn, M.D's, report titled "Show Me the Spending". If you know of a junk science study that was funded by your tax dollars feel free to send tips to nick@acsh.org