Absence of a Plant-Based Carburetor is Deeply Disturbing

It doesn't take much anything to annoy me anymore. It can strike from anywhere at any time. What was it today? (As if it matters. Two minutes later I would have found something else.) But today it was coffee. Not the coffee, really. It was this:

Just for the record, I'm a big fan of artificial sweeteners. They are safe (1) and help me avoid turning into the fat slob I'm already becoming limit my sugar intake. An added bonus: By using a plant-based product no one can say I'm not doing my part in saving the planet. And let me tell you, I could swear that I felt the global temperature dropping within seconds of tearing open the packet! Yep, plant-based,  Sounds great because...I don't really know. Perhaps it's the latest reincarnation of "natural," although that sure hasn't gone away. All kinds of stuff is now both "plant-based" and natural. And some of it is truly ridiculous.

I'm not talking about "plant-based" in the dietary sense. If vegans want to eat that slop I say "Let them eat slop." 

Time for a joke:

Q: How do you know if someone is a vegan?

A: They will tell you.

The Plant-Based Diet

If you search "plant-based food" on Google Shopping there are some interesting-looking items. But are they food? Here are a few.

Some plant-based foods available on Google Shopping. Delicious looking!

And imagine my surprise when I came across this! An item, which is listed as a plant-based, vegan food. Note that it has zero carbs.

No, I'm not kidding. This comes up in the search as a plant-based food. Whether it is more or less palatable than the items above remains unclear. Either someone at the company has an awesome sense of humor or there is suboptimal quality control in the ads department.

Plant-based: Not just food!

If being plant-based is so marvelous, why limit it to food? In fact, the expression is widely used to sell stuff like this:

Plant-based, organic products for sale. Do they pass the sniff test?

If that isn't ridiculous enough, try these...

All these are advertised as plant-based and organic. Would make a helluva outfit too.

As pervasive as this silly trend is try as I might I could not find everything...

Which was deeply disappointing.

The coffee and plant-based sweetener are wearing off. I suppose it's a good time to wrap this up.

NOTE:

(1) Yes, I firmly believe that artificial sweeteners like aspartame are perfectly safe. Otherwise, I would not use them. I'm the chemist you're not.