For (Key Lime) Pi Day: The World's Best Recipe

It’s Pi Day. Could there be a better opportunity to share my recipe for the world’s best Key Lime Pi(e)? I say no.

I’m an idiot savant in the kitchen (emphasis on the idiot part) and somehow managed to acquire exactly one culinary skill – the ability to make a killer Key Lime Pie. Here is the secret recipe. Don’t tell anyone.

In a large bowl, stir (1) (don’t beat) the following ingredients until a smooth, yellow custard-like consistency is achieved:

* Three egg yolks (no whites!)

* 3.5 ounces (2) of Nellie and Joe's Original Key Lime Juice. It is now routinely carried in supermarkets.

(Note: key limes, and their juice are yellow. If you use lime juice the damn thing will be green and taste like ass.) 

* One 14-ounce can of Borden’s sweetened condensed milk. Try not to cut off too many fingers when opening the can. The lid is sharper than a #15 scalpel.

Pour the mixture into a nine-inch graham cracker crust.

Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.

Refrigerate overnight; this is very important. This will cause the pie to set.

Cut into slices and then cover each with whipped cream (immediately before serving). NO MERINGUE! Meringue is icky.

Note on the crust: In a perfect world, the crust should be prepared from graham cracker crumbs, butter, and sugar, however, if you have any suicidal tendencies, just buy the damn pre-made crust. I've tried this and It is nearly impossible to get the homemade crust to stick together, so when you serve it, it looks like someone dropped a bomb on the pie.

Prepare for moans of ecstasy. And be aware of the possibility of a stampede when the pie makes its appearance.

Image:  Flickr

NOTES:

1. A wooden spoon is perfect for this.
2. The recipe on the bottle says 4 ounces. I used 3.5 instead; the pie is a little less tart and people prefer it. Such innovation! That Ph.D. in chemistry wasn’t wasted.